Please help! How can I gain some independence in this tricky situation?

I'm a female from the UK and I'm nearly 22. I lived with my Dad until I was 17 and then I moved in with my first boyfriend who I'd been with since I was 15. We've been living together for 4.5 years and have been married for just over a year.





I love my Husband and we have a great marriage, but I sometimes feel that I have no independence. I went straight from living with my Dad to living with my Husband. I've never lived on my own or by my own rules. I've never lived 100% for me and lived 100% by my needs and wants. I consider my Husband's wants, needs and schedule in everything that I do, just as he does for me. I don't think that there's anything wrong with this. I think this is how marriage should be, I've just never lived by my own rules and I want to know if it's possible to gain some independency and just do what I want, when I want in my situation. E.g when my Husband is away for the day, I can decide when things need to be done without considering his schedule.Please help! How can I gain some independence in this tricky situation?
What's your question? It seems the last sentence was you answering it yourself.








Anyway, this is why you don't get married at 20, no matter how long you've been together.Please help! How can I gain some independence in this tricky situation?
your right you never had any time on your own, daddy was looking after you now bf,


nothing you can do unless you dump bf, they always think grass is always greener beleive me its not,


do you have a full time job, that will give you a little independance,


your own car?
Considering his needs does not mean you have to neglect your own needs.


It is OK to do something that he has no interest in, e.g. a hobby, as long as it does not bother or hurt him. Find your Independence by pursuing hobbies that you are interested in - it does not matter if he is not interested. Go out with one of your girlfriends - go shopping or see a girly movie. He also need to learn that he can do things without you - e.g. go fishing with his mates without you etc.


It will be good for you both to have a bit of Independence. Separate something about your life where you make the rules, e.g. make your own rules about the inside of the house where you decide, and he can decide about the outside of the house.