How did marriage work in the 1800s in the United States?

I heard that 12 and 13-year-old girls would marry 30-something and 40-something men, is this true? Why did the men wait until they were in their 30s to get married, were they focused on their careers? Did girls ever wait until they were 18, or 20 to get married? Did people ever marry to people their own age? Can someone explain to me how marriage worked back then?How did marriage work in the 1800s in the United States?
Most women in the 1800's would be have their husbands pre-chosen but keep in mind this is only richer people as poorer ones would be struggling to actually get a husband for their daughter. I know in the medieval times the common age for a woman to marry was 12 but in the 1800s women were starting to get right so it was as you say about 18 or 20 but sometimes 16. It was VERY formal with the entire day being planned by the elder women and would end with the passing of the dowry (a present from each family, usually cash or land if they were rich). As for the men they may have had a plan but they could easily get out of it if they didnt want it and they did often get married at 30 or 40 because they often worked a lot before they wanted to settle down. If they had a wife straight away they would be stck with that job they have to work themeselves up. But some did get married in their twenties.How did marriage work in the 1800s in the United States?
fathers chose husband for there daughters. it all depended on who there fathers chose

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