And when should one break that vow for better or worse in sickness and health till death do us part? (See my question on my marriage if you'd like.) Just because one spouse does wrong repeatedly, and all options the spouses can think of have been exhausted (like counseling, trying to make things right with the offender who doesn't care and keeps criticizing or fighting), does that mean it's morally or ethically right then for someone to break her side of the marriage agreement/contract?How many people here believe that the marriage vows should be honored and fulfilled?
Yes, because actually the spouse who doesn't care and is constantly criticizing or fighting has already broken their part of the contract - to love, honor, and cherish. Therefore the other spouse is already relieved of the contract. If they have tried everything, nothing more could be asked of them.
Remember that just because one person has been irresponsible in a relationship, does not put the entire burden of the matter of the partner who is more responsible and honorable. They have an obgliation to take care of themselves because they are also a person in need of care.How many people here believe that the marriage vows should be honored and fulfilled?
I think if someone has repeatedly broken their marriage vows, the other partner can ethically get out of the marriage after trying as much as humanly possible.
';In sickness and in health'; is an issue for me individually. I have a baaaad mental illness and from what I've seen, it's impossible for someone like me to be in a relationship without royally f****ing up someone's life. I know my future (waaay future) husband will demand that isaih be included in the vows and I know nothing could make him leave, but I wish he would leave if I get sick again because I would rather die than give him that kind of pain.
But we both take wedding vows very seriously and won't ever break them.
Love is like strong drink. When the effects wear off you get to really see the decisions you made while under its influence. The question remains, are you comfortable with those decisions. In marriage, you can remain with the status quo and depending on your situation be happy or miserable till death do you part, possibly decade away. It's your life, do you see a lifetime of happyness or decades of misery ahead of you? You are the one in control of your destiny.
Vows are words spoken under the influence of love.
I think we all enter into this contract, without reading to much into the fine print,I adhere to it is for life,as a vow is made before God and man.
If it is a case of honouring these vows before God, then I would suggest that a separation should take place if abuse is happening, but the law of remaining celibate should be followed. Prayer can change someone and people can change, so a separation until such a time is not breaking the vow of marriage,as it is only for a time until the other learns the meaning of Love and honour.
Marriage is a ';contract'; between two people. Where part of the conditions of the contract is to ';love and honour';. If either party choses not to ';love and honour'; but rather ';abuse and destroy'; then the contract is no longer valid. A marriage has to be worked at, but a ';breach of contract'; can be dissolved in law, so my belief is if a religion says ';once married always married'; thats man talking, not God, he wants us to be happy, not systematically emotionally/mentally or physically destroyed if one of the ';contractees'; decides not to uphold their side of the agreement. My view is, if you know in your heart you have done everything you can to help, support and understand your partner, and it cannot be fixed, and the not being able to fix it means the other person is suffering then God is right by your side, he will even help you find a new partner if you ask him too, as he did for me, and I thank him everyday, through the love given and received between my husband and I.
I have been married 23 years. While I will not lie and say it has always been abed of roses, it is a wonderful journey to go through life with her. I don't believe in meeting your spouse halfway; that is 50-50. I believe that if you give 100% all the time; you will make up for the times your opposite is not (as it seems sometimes) trying to meet you at all. People need to learn how to settle differences without using the ';D'; word.
If both people feel strong about their values and are committed to each other then there should not be any question about honoring those vows. Things like love, trust, and honesty are valued above all, you must also fight temptation, greed, selfishness. The union between these two people, where once was two is now one. Each person thinks of the other before that of themselves. When Children enter their lives then the childrens care and wellbeing will take president over both their lives.
I've been married 13 years, I love my wife more deeply now than ever before. We have 3 wonderful children. Everything is good, I have no complaints.
I-nspire warmth
L-isten to each other
O-pen your heart
V-alue your union
E-xpress your trust
Y-ield to good sense
O-verlook mistakes
U-understand differences
I believe that if possible one should never break the vows if a person mate has done wrong but have found the errors of his/her ways forgive them and continue but if they continue to do so then if you have exercised all possibilities and there is no other way then a separation is possible to see if the mate will come around
i am not married as of yet, but i know that when i do and say my vows in front of God, i will keep my vows to the best of my abilities. I actually cant understand why people would marry if they know they will not fulfill their promise to God and their spouse.
when i took my vows.... it was in the house of God in front of many people.....
i honored my vows regardless..... i was married for 27yrs before i suddenly lost my husband...... there were good times and bad times.... and yes there were a lot of times when it would have been much easier to give up and divorce...... but getting through all the hard times made us closer.........
good luck to you...........
Yes,to a certain extent.
If you've done everything you can to save your marriage and nothing worked then it's time to move on.
Why stay in a marriage only to be miserable because of the kids or the house or religious convictions?
A lot of people make these decisions based upon what other people think. As Christians, my wife and I make these decisions based upon what God thinks. Jesus spoke directly to this question and His words are recorded in Mathew 19:3-11 and again in Mark 10:2-12.
When Jesus speaks, what we think is irrelevant. We have decided we will do what Jesus said. In our 23 years of marriage there have been a few days when this alone carried us through. But now, looking back, we realize what a good thing this was.
May God bless you and your search for Truth.
I think marriage is a foolish and outmoded institution, and that anyone who settles for it deserves what they get.
Well my hubby has a year left in the big house, and I'm still honoring my vows. This is definitely worse....
I do.
I think the vows should be honored except in the most extreme circumstances, such as infidelity and abuse.
One thing that people told me before I got married was that marriage is hard. A couple has to work at their marriage each day. Both partners have to give 100% instead of doing his or her ';50% fair share.';
Most people eventually come to a time when the marriage is difficult and one or both couples are not happy. Studies have shown, (sorry I can't refer to which study - this is just by memory of what I have read) however, that the couples who stick it out are happier in the long run than those who call it quits. Even many who call it quits afterward say that they should have stuck it out.
I have been married 5 years and we have had some semi-hard times. I think that by focusing on the things that the other person does well, and finding things you admire about your spouse, helps a great deal in making it through those hard times.
Of course, I have a different view on marriage than many. I believe that a marriage performed with the proper authority can be sealed on earth so that it lasts even after death. Partly because of this belief, my wife and I both agreed that the ';d'; word would never be an option. I don't condemn those who have been divorced because I am not in a position to judge, but I personally believe marriages can last.
I believe that marriage is forever, but if there is a cheating or wrong doing spouse then you should talk with your church and see what they can do to guide you...perhaps there can be an annulment. No one deserves to be faithful to vows if the other person isn't taking the marriage seriously....If you don't belong to a church any preacher would be more than happy to chat with you. Go in or call and ask if he can put aside some time to talk with you...or after service ask if he has a few minutes and explain your concerns.....I wish you the best and know that marriage means alot of ups and downs and that is ok.....you will go through ups and downs I certainly have but sooner or later things need to balance out...if the don't dont get divorced have an annulment..why should you have to bare ';the divorce title if you didnt do anything??'; please weigh the pros and cons....and make sure that enough time has been invested...unless there is violence that is not acceptable!!!! Good luck!!!!! I thought I might not stay but now it has been 5 years and things are more balanced.....there were hard times but it really depends on you and how much you love him.....best wishes and god bless you....give a prayer and maybe you will be guided to do what is best for you......my heart goes out to you!!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment