Anyone here do things to make themselves happy?How do you achieve personal happiness in a marriage?
Mary, sorry to knnw that happiness is playing the elusive truant in your married life. I sincerely hope the envionment at your home front improved for good. It will. Keep hope. The positive sign is that you are trying to find answers to your issues at hand.
You know what? Happiness is an abstract and relative term. Which means,it doesnt have a universal static, definitive meaning. What could be happiness for one person, may be source of discontentment for another. It differs from person to person.
This is also not true that persmal happiness comes first to marital happiness. Or, that personal happiness is prerequisite to marital happines. Because, happiness is a perception and it is dependent mostly on external determinants coupled with your willingness to perceive it in a particular way. Happiness is inter-related with various factors, with almost everyone and everything around you.
A mother wil be happy if her child passed exams securing bare minimum marks. Another wil be unhappy even if the child passed with 90%. A wife wil be happy if her drunkard husband didnt drink on a day. Another wil be unhappy if a teetotaler husband had a sip of alcohol.
A family wil be happy if the mmthly earning just somehow meets the monthly expenses. Another wil be unhappy even when the income is a million per year.
It all depends what goals we had set for ourselves. If the resources at hand falls much below than the demands of the goals,and if we are unwilling to accept the fact that it is ok to lose out at times, we wil be unhappy.
There are a few basic factors which contributes towards happiness.
1. Adustability
2. Concessions %26amp;
3. Mutual aid
Never think that you are making compromises. Think concessions.
Learn to adjust to the extent it doesnt usurp your identity, but whenever necessary assert yourself too. If required, dissociate. Dissociatition is also a form of adjustment.
Mutual aid is important. Try to be understanding, and wherever required extent a helping hand in the relationship. Let the other person feel that you undeqtand, that you are not judgemental, and that you are willing to helpout selflessly if necessary.
All the best.How do you achieve personal happiness in a marriage?
I would guess that you and your husband might want to address, then now is a good time for you and your husband to figure out a way to work on the marital issues... perhaps therapy.
I have always had projects, goals (small ones, even), and activities to keep me happy and occupied. I paint, journal, like making scrapbooks, spend time with friends, hike for a few.
You might also do things with your husband around home-- yard work, cleaning out the garage, etc. You could also think about doing some interactive things together. Something as simple as playing cards or a game, or going out walking would give you the chance to relate to each other. Maybe spending time together will give you a chance to rebuild.
take care and i sure hope things work out
if nothing else work ....spare time to read books, reflect, go to gym and do something you like to do (cook, take a drive, pray , watch movies , etc ) - if you have to do these by yourself then so be it but spare some time apart.
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set a time aside to be thankful/ worried for thirty minutes and then let it go and get back on with life.
Both my husband and I do things around the house equally to make it easier for the other when we get home from work. Our happiness is making the other smile.
go shopping, but i also buy things for him too. jpoin the gym and whenyour figure gets cute and sees men looking at your fine shiney hiney he will be paying more attention.
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