Wednesday, August 18, 2010

How important are matching sex drives in a marriage?

My husband and I are polar opposite when it comes to sex. I want it all the time and he rarely does. I get sick of always having to do it myself and would like some attention from him (if catch my drift). He complains sex is all I ever want and would rather sit online or watch movies. Anyone else having this issue? Can a marriage survive a lifetime if one partner is constantly turned down and never satisfied sexually?How important are matching sex drives in a marriage?
It can work if you're both willing to bend. You say he ';rarely'; wants sex, but if you can find a middle ground, it might satisfy you. Talk with him, and really talk, don't nag or complain. Bring up the discussion as a negotiation, and be sure to point out that if he meets you in the middle he will reap the benefit of not having to listen to you beg for sex ever again. This might mean that he will sometimes have to please you sexually even when he's not in the mood, but don't all husbands do things for their wives sometimes that they don't feel like doing? For example, I am never in the mood to do dishes, but if my wife wants my help, I get up and help her. Tell him he should treat sex with you the same way if it helps, because anything that's very important to one partner in a marriage should be considered important to the other one too.How important are matching sex drives in a marriage?
Marriage is so 20th century. Free yourself - get a divorce!

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In the beginng it was great 5 1/2 yrs ago .Now i go months at a time without it lately 4weeks has past I try talking and compromising nothing seems to work.She said she dont think about however i do and im frustrated.I dont want to step out and tired of doing it myself.Help me with this.

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I cannot keep going without it i think about it everyday most of the day and tired of talking about how we need to compromise she just doesnt respond she just always busy or sleepy or something im ready to be pleased and starting look outside and not because i want to, its my drive thats driving me.

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Im 45 she's 40 and sometime when we do have sex i have to finish myself off because she dont do anything to keep me up and at em.I feel like im working with the deceased.We tried counsling coaching and she fall's back into the same mold.Im hot horny frustrated and ready for anything.

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Have you asked him what u can do tm turn him on!

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It is very important, but its best yuo both listen to eachothers needs and motivate eachother more, finding a interesting new way to be sexually attracted to one another :)

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My wife isn't interested and I am starting to hate her.

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Despite what alot of people say on here sex is very important, they just don't want to say so because they're afraid of ridicule.(serious)


What you need is something on the side that'll wear you out so you won't want it when you with him haha, that would probly turn the tables on him!(joking)

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You said he's online alot and watches movies. Does this activity include pornography? If so you may need to look into his habits and discuss your boundaries with him. Sounds like he may have other interests outside of the relationship.

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WOW! me and my girlfriend aren't married but were engaged, and she loves to have sex 24/7.I just dont understand why some girls can be this horny all the time?im a guy and im never that horny, and she just wants to do it,she even gets mad,throws a fit,and at times start crying if i turn her down4sex

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My husband and I are on opposite ends of the spectrum also. Except we're the opposite from you and your husband. We haven't been married a life time, but we seem to work it out. However, he's constantly wanting sexual attention and I'm constantly feeling like he only wants me around for the sex (he gives me no attention otherwise). So, I suppose a marriage can last a lifetime this way, but I don't think either partner will ever REALLY be happy.





Happy-2...good answer, but I can't agree. Doing that would make sex feel like a chore, and then it would never be satisfying.
Yes, it can, if this partner learns to find satisfaction in other facets of marriage. It probably won't survive if partners can't adapt to each other's needs and demands.
Can become a problem. Although every marriage usually settles in one partner suppressing feelings or divorce.


Try finding a middle ground of compromise.
Personally, I think they're kind of important but it sounds like in your relationship someone's going to have to use their hand a bit more than the other.
Its extremely important if you want to be faithful. It will effect the way you feel about yourself.
its not the #1 but it is very important
Soon your sex drive will slow down and you'll live your life with out thinking about sex all the time it's like an addiction you just have to wait it out or find a side man
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