One child
Both of us nearing 40
No infidelity in marriage
Spouse does not drink, smoke, gamble, cheat, etc.
Spouse is very loving and good to me and child
Found out spouse owes $100,000 to IRS..
Spouse owes $100,000 to family for failed business (did not know this much money was owed either)
We own nothing but furniture and clothing; we have no assets
We live next door to parents in a house owned by parents
I quit a $35,000/year job with good benefits to stay at home with our child.
Spouse has job hopped numerous times and we moved 7 times.
Spouse don't really have a job now; I started work to support us.
Before we married, spouse promised to take care of me and our child; I feel betrayed by this financial situation, when I trusted my spouse to take care and provide for me. I do not want to be in this situation, but we do have a small child together. I do not know what to do. I do not feel that this is right for me. This is not at all how I thought our married life would be. Spouse has promised to do better and try to right this situation, but I do not see how.
Any suggestions????
I had no idea we were in this situation. I love my spouse, but I see no way out of this financial situation, and it feel is not right for me.
Spouse has extreme bad credit (liens, reposessions, etc.)
Cant open any credit for a car, home etc..Cant even open a bank account!How would you handle this financial/marriage situation?
I think you might want to declare bankruptcy and then start over. Probably get a certified financial counselor to help you.How would you handle this financial/marriage situation?
If he was in debt and I decided to marry him, I would stay....If I found out that he had lied about (this very extreme!) debt, I would flee before I got caught up in it further.
I hope that debt was accrued before your marriage, or you're toast. :(
You been married to this man for 12 years and have no idea about his credit history? I feel sorry for you.
File for bankruptcy
A very good friend of mine was in a similar situation (her spouse owed $175k to IRS).
She divorced him in order to avoid a life of penury.
After she divorced him, he started listening to her!
Within a year of divorcing him, he worked out a payment plan with the IRS, and she got re-engeged to him. They never actually got remarried (something to do with not wanting to expose her SSI to his debts), but she has a nice ring, they have lived together for seven years now.
He was a hard drinking Texas cowboy who would not listen to her until she divorced him. Then AMAZINGLY, he completely changed his ways: told his worthless adult kids to stop living at his house, stopped boozing it up every afternoon with his friends, plus a millin other positive changes - it was really amazing.
Did he run up all that debt himself? why weren't you there to understand what was going on financially? In my marriage we both know what the hell is going on financially. In a marriage it is a partnership and both need to keep a checks and balances system on the family money. Some partners in a relationship make the mistake thinking that one in the marriage will always make sure things run smoothly. It is stupid for one spouse to live in La La land while the other runs the family finances.
My dad owned a business with his cousin when I was younger. His cousin was in charge of paying the taxes. Unfortunately, the cousin was using the money that was supposed to go to taxes to buy cocaine instead (nice). They ended up owing like $70,000 to the IRS in taxes, and the burden ended up falling onto my dad because his cousin wouldn't/couldn't pay (not that we could either...my family didn't have that kind of money, or assets!). My parents ended up pulling through it. I don't know how but they ended up being able to pay the money through payments, etc. I remember for a couple of years my brother and I didn't have very many clothes to wear, all we had we got from thrift stores. But we all got through it okay. Just work with the IRS and see what you can do. Financial problems are one of the toughest parts of marriage, but if you love your husband and you want to be with him, you guys can get past this!
File bankruptcy, get credit counseling and get back in the labor force; both of you.
If you still love him Stick with him get the book Debt Cure by Kevin Treadu very good book on getting out of debt. He saved my life and there are ways to get out of this just one step at a time. Have y'all considered bankruptcy? Its 10 years but that will go fast. Good Luck I will pray for you and yours. God Bless.
You didn't see this coming? Not after twelve years. I suppose, and know you were busy, raising your kid and doing all the rest, besides working a job too.
This is one horrible situation to be in, for anyone. and especially with a child.
I don't see divorce as the answer to many peoples problems, but in your case, I have to say, yes to that idea. He needs to be kicked out, of your life and home. But with his parents owning your home, can that work? Surely, they have to be on your side and their Grandchild. At least one would hope so.
This took a long time to occur and won't be easily changed over night, either.
Once you get your divorce, can he handle child support, that looks very unlikely. Which means, you are going to be a single mom, and on your own.
You didn't mention your own family, any help possible there?
You will have to find a job, and as we all know, that won't be easy, in this economy, but still possible, depending on your skills.
All I can suggest, stay as you are for as long as you can, make a plan, look for a job, if you're forced to, find another place, see if you can find some room mate, to share expenses on some house.
It's going to take you sometime, to get enough, money to support yourself. Check out Social Services, and food stamps, etc. Anything that will save you money. Try food banks, squeeze all you can out of every dollar.
It's going to take time and lots of money management to get back on your own again, and independent, and I don't see an easy road ahead for you and your child.
So all I can do is, wish you the best of luck. You really do need some kind of help, and hopefully from his Parents, they are partly to blame for making their son, what he is.
You can file papers with the IRS under the innocent spouse guidelines so you will not be held liable with him if you file a joint tax return.
Your husband should discuss filing an individual bankruptcy with an attorney.
You might also want to seek some advice from your church or counselor related to making him realize his mistakes and what his actions have done to the stability of your marriage.
Best Wishes to your family
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