How hard was ending you marriage,letting go of the person you promised forever with?

and if there was kids did you want to stay so they would have a happy family?why didn't it work and you you wish you could go back and make it work?can you ever really let go of the person you said your vows to? thanks in advanceHow hard was ending you marriage,letting go of the person you promised forever with?
It was a cinch to let go. I refused to stay with a cheating husband.How hard was ending you marriage,letting go of the person you promised forever with?
I tried to stay with the ex for the kids, bad mistake. The kids were not happy, I was miserable and only happy one was the ex. When I finally left he was in tears, my kids did fine and I was the happiest I had ever been.
I tried to stay with my ex, but she insisted on wanting to get drunk, do drugs and sleep around. She was also abusive to my kids and no one would listen or do anything about it because her daddy was a cop. How sad is that? Well, long story short, they both got away from her, they both had counselling and my oldest is engaged to a real sweetheart and they are expecting. He is currently deployed overseas and I'm really proud of both of them, and, I'm looking forward to becoming a grandfather. ;-)
Very very hard, I was with mine for 14 years, but mine cheated on me for 10 years. He always told me he'd quit, over and over.. Then he'd send me flowers to my work and house to show me he'd change, Then he'd go right back to doing it again weeks later. My office and house looked like a florist. My co-workers, friends and relatives thought I was so lucky to have him. I thought, if they only knew.. I was so miserable for so many years, until I didn't even know myself anymore. We had A-1 Credit, we had any and every toy we could want until one day I came home and said I don't care what I loose, I just want to be happy and I walked my other foot out the door. My Lord it was the best decision I ever made. My credit went to crap, I lost some of the things we had jointly, but I still hung my head up high. I don't regret it to this day, I am the happiest person ever!!! I wouldn't change a thing except I wish I would have done it a LONG time ago!! But only you know if it's what you need to do. I will tell you though, even after I got divorced it still bothered me breaking my vows because it was something I took very seriously, but I knew I did everything to try, counseling, staying with him so long, I did everything I could do as a wife and that's what I tell myself.





Good Luck to you!
My last marriage the only thing that was hard letting go of was the notion to bash his skull in before I left the state.





Seriously, the s.o.b. tried to hurt my 3 lb puppy several times because he was to much of a coward to take me on in his drunken fits of anger, he was a cheater and one hell of a compulsive liar, he tried to use our rent money to support his alcohol and drug habits...GAD! I could go on and on, but I think you get the jest.





No I had been plotting and planning my escape and was all to happy when I did so within a months time.





If you are wondering how a old battle beach like me landed myself such a WINNER, I will tell you I was in medical school and working at the time I met him and only saw the side of himself he wanted me to see. After completing school however and I was home much more that is when all hell broke loose.
I am in the midst of it. It is very, very hard. I was married for 22 years and he chose to cheat when we were having trouble.





Before I knew he was cheating, I would think ';I wish he would have an affair so I could just leave without all these doubts'; He kept telling me we belonged together and how he loved me. (this was while he was cheating). When I found out he was cheating, I still could not make a clean break. I have no idea why.





Now I have endured months of him telling me how the affair meant nothing and how he just wanted things right with us and it is my fault he had an affair because he kept ';testing the waters'; to see if our marriage was still viable and I gave him no reason to think it was. (Of course I didn't, he was abusing me and the children - he had become a monster, though he recalls none of that)





Bottom line, it's very hard. Scientists have said there is an actual physical change that must take place in your brain to make a split from someone you have been attached to for a long, long time.
When he said he was moving out (after 12 years of marriage) it was out-of-the-blue for me, but if he had stayed, it could have gotten ugly and being together does not insure happy kids. We went to a lawyer who was a divorce mediator and dissolved our marriage with a fair degree of civility. It was still a very painful time, but we both worked really hard to keep things somewhat stable for the kids. He found a place fifteen minutes away; the kids and I stayed put so they wouldn't have to change schools. Since then (seven years) we have been able to work together to parent our two kids albeit from different households. It was hard, too, b/c I was always a get-married-once-get-married-forever kind of gal. I worked with a counselor which REALLY helped. It was hard to let go of the future I'd imagined we would have together. Funny, it wasn't until he'd moved out that I realized what a relief it was that he was gone. Now he's a kind of family still, but we've both moved on romantically and that's ok. I think we work harder at our divorce than we did on our marriage. I think it is because basically we're both decent people who had two beautiful kids but had different ideas of what happy was going to look like. If you can, if it is in any way possible, work together to end your marriage peacefully.. Even if it is the last kind thing you do for each other, do it with gentleness and respect for the person you fell in love with....if he hadn't moved out when he did, we might have gotten to the throwing-lamps-at-each-other phase and it would have gone down hill from there. Good luck.





Bottom line: there is life after divorce.
It was easy for me to let go and walk away He was very abusive and he was drunk all the time and addicted to porno. it was not fun being thrown up against the wall by my throat and being punched in the back of me neck I started working 12 to 14 hours and some times all weekend just to say away from him and to save money so I could leave.